Hustle culture will find this statement to be an anathema. We are, at our core, a success-driven society. The concept of failure often carries with it a stigma. It’s seen as a mark of inadequacy - a testament to our shortcomings. A step backwards instead of forwards. Conversely, our perceived successes are a testament to our drive, discipline and determination.
But is failure not merely a human construct? A label we place on certain outcomes, overshadowing the valuable lessons hidden within? Animals do not experience the concept of failure. If they don’t catch their prey, they simply learn from it – they adapt and evolve.
To embrace this state of being, we must redefine our understanding not only of what failure is, but of success. When we focus on one point in time as the sum total of an experience, this provides no context or appreciation for the parts of this experience that were moments of pleasure, success or learning. Failure is not a definitive end, but rather a waypoint in our journey – often sprinkled with success along the way.
When a business closes, we label it a failure. Instead of celebrating the livelihood it provided many people, the entrepreneurial lessons learned and the wonderful ties and relationships fostered within the community.
A friendship ends, and we ignore years of shared confidences, holidays taken, memories made and shoulders to cry on – deciding that the ‘real’ person has only just been revealed.
When a marriage dissolves, we label it a failure simply because we did not attain the goal of being life-long partners. We bury the wins. All the love, affection, holidays, plans, homes and children that were created along the way.
We make a mistake at work – and our focus shifts to the fall-out from the error. We discount the wins, because the error is what draws attention. Our natural negativity bias kicks in.
When we do not immediately attain our goals, we gain a clearer understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. We uncover areas that need improvement and we develop resilience. Our “failures” allow us to build character and tenacity - essential qualities for long-term success.
So how do we turn a perceived failure into a success?
Positivity: Remember the good that happened along the journey and be grateful for it. Write it down in you need to. Positivity activates the neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex which are not only responsible for emotional regulation – but decision making!
Reframe: Instead of viewing failure as a negative outcome, see it as a learning opportunity. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow?” It’s all about Perspective.
Innovate: Failure often forces change upon us. Change is an opportunity to innovate. To discover and create new and better solutions. To experience new things.
Connect: Use the opportunity to draw on observations from those external to the experience. Ask those you trust for their perspective on the situation and simultaneously deepen your relationship as you become vulnerable and allow yourself to be supported by others.
Grow from each experience, embrace the lessons and harness them as an evolutionary step on your journey of success.
Remember – every arrow must be drawn backwards in order to take full flight.
Comentários